I'm sorry I haven't written lately. It hasn't been for lack of interesting or funny shit happening my life. Quite the contrary really.
I've finally emerged from the oblivion known as "being wrapped in the depressive cocoon of my comforter" and hit the ground running. I am finally and thankfully gainfully employed. After months of looking, interviewing, getting a job, losing the job to RIDICULOUS circumstances (seriously, when a new employee points out your MULTIPLE insurance and HIPAA violations....ummm, yeah you may wanna heed that warning before the Insurance Commissioner comes a knockin) then interviewing again and being passed over because I am "too personable". A full 6 months, dozen plus interviews and over 162 resumes sent I have landed a job that I didn't even know existed and was referred to by an employer that I was applying for. She said I'd be perfect for the position that another office had just mentioned they were looking to fill for an individual that was moving out of state after 10yrs of service with their practice. Turns out her intuition was fabulous because after one interview that lasted 3 1/2 hours, two separate observations and a working interview I was offered the position of Hygiene Coordinator for a local dental practice.
My days of sleeping, crying and farming (on FarmVille) have ceased and while I'm happy for the steady paycheck and reason to put on pants I am finding that all this "work" is leaving me little time to write or just watch endless hours of Lifetime television. It's a tough life I lead people.
My kids are even bitching a bit because alas, their schedules aren't of the utmost importance in my day. Their second complaint is that since returning to work my energy level has skyrocketed and thus I am on their asses every ten seconds about why they haven't picked up this or that and why they can't just "take care of it now" and "not 10 flippin minutes from now". This statement is usually followed by mass amounts of eye rolling and serious attitude.
It's a magical time being the parent to a tween and a teen. Sometimes I wonder if the Prozac will ever mellow me to the point of not wanting to beat the tar out of these two when they mount the attitude express on an hourly basis. All I can think is that I need to bask in this time period now before Hannah hits puberty and I'm flanked by two raging hormonal beings. When that day arrives I am going to go straight to my doctor and demand a monthly revolving prescription of Xanax that will need to be taken until they both no longer reside in my home.
For now I will just keep my focus on my new job and all the fun that will be had. That was sarcasm by the way....
~JP
Showing posts with label job search. Show all posts
Showing posts with label job search. Show all posts
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
New job....take 2!
If only everything in life had a "do over" button that accompanied it. I know for a God's honest truth that I'd be using that button ALOT! I can think of about a dozen things I would be using it for at this exact second as I sit here typing this blog. But this entry is about my job. For those devout readers...you'll know that what I thought was going to be a wonderful change back in September turned into an utter nightmare in just 72 hours of employment. What a difference 2 1/2 weeks can make.
I originally left this job feeling that there could be a definite possibility that the insurance commissioner would come knocking on my door but now after being courted...it's been over a decade since ANYONE employer or otherwise has pursued me...I've not only taken a different perspective on this job but on my self worth. Maybe I've still got some spunk left in me.
The confidence that I thought had long been lost, surpressed or rather depressed out of me has risen up and made me take note in not only a career sense but in a personal sense as well. The way that my bosses were talking to me and then asking my honest input gave me pause. Was this really happening? Was I being "Punk'd" again?? It's not that I don't think I have merit to back up the resume I carry, but behind this funny face is a very LOW self esteem.
I've been handed more false promises in the last several months than I care to list. I've put all in on jobs in the past and I've found myself drained to the point of severe illness. I've been handed more lip service and words with no action behind them that I was beginning to feel like a school girl searching for her first love. Giving all and getting nothing in return.
Then to come in a few days later to resume my job title and see that they were actually taking heed to these points lit a fire in me that while I had realized had gone out, I had not realized would flame up so big in such a short period of time. But it hasn't been ALL seriousness with no fun. I mean really, would it be my life if there were NO humor filled rants? Nah...it wouldn't.
I've left the crazies of the dental world like the man who once called me to ask if it was "really bad that he used rubber cement to fix his denture" or the woman who threw a check at me because I stamped PAST DUE on her bill that had been unpaid for 6 months. My all time favorite would have to be the man that had a past co-worker and I high tailing it out of the office in a sheer fit of terror when he threatened to come back and get even with us for "that woman making him cry" (as he makes a tear motion down his face from his eye to his chin and talking about himself in the 3rd person).
But don't cry for me dental world. I am now thoroughly entertained by this new facet of patient care. It's not every day that you get a client that calls and cancels not one but two appointments because her cat seems "a little under the weather" and "really shouldn't be left alone". Really? REALLY?? I mean...I am a pet lover. You know this about me. You see the way I fawn on my Penny and the other dogs of the house. Hell...I write more about my 4 legged children then I do about my 2 legged kids! I've never cancelled a doctors appointment to care for my slightly under the weather pet. And "if" I have....I would never admit it. Because then ladies and gentleman...I truly would have achieved the last layer of crazy. And I was really hoping that I could avoid achieving that until I was like, oh...I don't know...80!
I can't be the crazy cat lady in my 30's....it will leave me nothing to aspire to! God...I gotta have goals people. But the crazy cat caller hasn't been my only entertainment. There is the client who had the last appointment of the day and was 10 minutes late. I called to check and see if she was on her way because our office is located on a road that is under endless construction, as so many of the roads in Louisiana are, and we've had many a client delayed because they are behind a cement truck or a pavement roller. At about 15 minutes after her appointment start time I called to check on her. She answers and tells me that she is "on the road" and "will be there in just a few minutes". I've learned that A) you never take their word and B) it's best to ask on which road they happen to be on and about how long do they estimate before they arrive. This puts the ball in their court and usually will get them to pinpoint whether they will truly be able to make it in a reasonable amount of time so that we may see them or if we need to reschedule because it will leave no time for proper treatment.
This client however was having no part of committing to anything other than entertaining me. I asked if she was on the road that leads to our office. No response...other than a giggle. I didn't know that this was a joke...but whatever. I ask about how long before she thinks she will be at the office. Again...no immediate response and then instead of a time I get...and these are the EXACT words..."don'tcha worry babe I will be there in plenty of time for them to put their hands all over me".
Ummmmmm.....long pause of extreme unwillingness to respond to that statement. I swear to you I don't work in a brothel or one of those skeezy massage parlors.
After uncomfortable pause I manage to compose this professional yet slightly stuttered response "well it's already close to 20 minutes into your appointment time and the office closes at 5p so we will need to reschedule you to a later date". She sounded dejected and I think it had a lot to do with her deflation at not being able to have "their hands all over her"....ahhhh puked in my mouth a bit....but she took the next appointment on the book.
After I got off the phone. I got up...walked away...and burst into laughter. Seriously...I never heard that in dentistry! I mean maybe when they were on nitrous...but never when I was confirming or following up on a scheduled appointment.
So now 48 hours into "new job...take #2" I am finding my groove and learning that there is crazy no matter where you go and hey...I can fit into crazy. I'm pretty sure I can be their leader...ya know, like if this job doesn't work out. Seriously I was lucky enough for take #2...there certainly can't be a 3rd, right??
~JP
I originally left this job feeling that there could be a definite possibility that the insurance commissioner would come knocking on my door but now after being courted...it's been over a decade since ANYONE employer or otherwise has pursued me...I've not only taken a different perspective on this job but on my self worth. Maybe I've still got some spunk left in me.
The confidence that I thought had long been lost, surpressed or rather depressed out of me has risen up and made me take note in not only a career sense but in a personal sense as well. The way that my bosses were talking to me and then asking my honest input gave me pause. Was this really happening? Was I being "Punk'd" again?? It's not that I don't think I have merit to back up the resume I carry, but behind this funny face is a very LOW self esteem.
I've been handed more false promises in the last several months than I care to list. I've put all in on jobs in the past and I've found myself drained to the point of severe illness. I've been handed more lip service and words with no action behind them that I was beginning to feel like a school girl searching for her first love. Giving all and getting nothing in return.
Then to come in a few days later to resume my job title and see that they were actually taking heed to these points lit a fire in me that while I had realized had gone out, I had not realized would flame up so big in such a short period of time. But it hasn't been ALL seriousness with no fun. I mean really, would it be my life if there were NO humor filled rants? Nah...it wouldn't.
I've left the crazies of the dental world like the man who once called me to ask if it was "really bad that he used rubber cement to fix his denture" or the woman who threw a check at me because I stamped PAST DUE on her bill that had been unpaid for 6 months. My all time favorite would have to be the man that had a past co-worker and I high tailing it out of the office in a sheer fit of terror when he threatened to come back and get even with us for "that woman making him cry" (as he makes a tear motion down his face from his eye to his chin and talking about himself in the 3rd person).
But don't cry for me dental world. I am now thoroughly entertained by this new facet of patient care. It's not every day that you get a client that calls and cancels not one but two appointments because her cat seems "a little under the weather" and "really shouldn't be left alone". Really? REALLY?? I mean...I am a pet lover. You know this about me. You see the way I fawn on my Penny and the other dogs of the house. Hell...I write more about my 4 legged children then I do about my 2 legged kids! I've never cancelled a doctors appointment to care for my slightly under the weather pet. And "if" I have....I would never admit it. Because then ladies and gentleman...I truly would have achieved the last layer of crazy. And I was really hoping that I could avoid achieving that until I was like, oh...I don't know...80!
I can't be the crazy cat lady in my 30's....it will leave me nothing to aspire to! God...I gotta have goals people. But the crazy cat caller hasn't been my only entertainment. There is the client who had the last appointment of the day and was 10 minutes late. I called to check and see if she was on her way because our office is located on a road that is under endless construction, as so many of the roads in Louisiana are, and we've had many a client delayed because they are behind a cement truck or a pavement roller. At about 15 minutes after her appointment start time I called to check on her. She answers and tells me that she is "on the road" and "will be there in just a few minutes". I've learned that A) you never take their word and B) it's best to ask on which road they happen to be on and about how long do they estimate before they arrive. This puts the ball in their court and usually will get them to pinpoint whether they will truly be able to make it in a reasonable amount of time so that we may see them or if we need to reschedule because it will leave no time for proper treatment.
This client however was having no part of committing to anything other than entertaining me. I asked if she was on the road that leads to our office. No response...other than a giggle. I didn't know that this was a joke...but whatever. I ask about how long before she thinks she will be at the office. Again...no immediate response and then instead of a time I get...and these are the EXACT words..."don'tcha worry babe I will be there in plenty of time for them to put their hands all over me".
Ummmmmm.....long pause of extreme unwillingness to respond to that statement. I swear to you I don't work in a brothel or one of those skeezy massage parlors.
After uncomfortable pause I manage to compose this professional yet slightly stuttered response "well it's already close to 20 minutes into your appointment time and the office closes at 5p so we will need to reschedule you to a later date". She sounded dejected and I think it had a lot to do with her deflation at not being able to have "their hands all over her"....ahhhh puked in my mouth a bit....but she took the next appointment on the book.
After I got off the phone. I got up...walked away...and burst into laughter. Seriously...I never heard that in dentistry! I mean maybe when they were on nitrous...but never when I was confirming or following up on a scheduled appointment.
So now 48 hours into "new job...take #2" I am finding my groove and learning that there is crazy no matter where you go and hey...I can fit into crazy. I'm pretty sure I can be their leader...ya know, like if this job doesn't work out. Seriously I was lucky enough for take #2...there certainly can't be a 3rd, right??
~JP
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Penny's Thought of the Day....
Being back at home after just a few days back out in the work place has been both a blessing and blow to my confidence. I've relinguished my Crackberry to Penny's capable hands....ergh, I mean paws. Most of my calls are from Jon, since I haven't gotten any responses on the millions (okay 5) resumes I've turned loose in the employment world. I don't want Jon to think I'm slipping back into my depressive ways so I rely on Penny to give him other reasons as to why I won't answer my phone. I think she's doing a pretty good job so far.....
....hmmmm, guess i gotta work on some other answers for her to give him because I'm getting REALLY tired of him coming home with Imodium and Cranberry in an attempt to "help with my bathroom issues".
....ok...so she doesn't follow direction well, but at least she didn't tell him I was sleeping...or working my FarmVille farm on Facebook. But there is just one problem...she seems to have just one go to phrase for where I am or what I am doing....
My goal of mediocrity has not gone unfulfilled.....
I think I've reached a new record of being a quitter. While I tried very hard not to be OVERLY excited about the job that I had found (after 3 months of looking) and started last week....even I floored myself when after just a few minutes I found myself in the VERY familiar territory of wanting to RUN LIKE HELL from the building.
The owners were nice. Major plus. Which, I must say after my last employer was a complete change of emotions. Perfect example on my first day they asked how Hannah's birthday party went. I thought that was sweet, but it wasn't enough to make me want to stay there. I was trying to get a lay of the office when the first red flag came up.
They had instructions on how to handle checking in and confirming the schedule. Simple enough. When I began to look at the manual in comparisson to the real time schedule of the practice management software I was floored by the fact that I couldn't follow the instructions. At first I thought it was my inability to follow directions. I'm a smart girl, but it wouldn't be the first time I'd been tripped up by directions (crunchy manicotti circa 2003 comes to mind....and a blog for another day). I turned to one of the techs that I was managing for answers to my ever mounting questions, since the owners were with patients, the answer that came out of her mouth took me aback.
It seems that they weren't staying current on paperwork which wasn't allowing them to check out patients when they left which was then not allowing them to check in the same patients when they returned. If this was dentistry it would have been bad but manageable since you don't see most patients more than 2 times a year. If it took you an additional day or two to catch up on paperwork in order to submit the insurance claims you could still be okay. But being physical therapy you see 90% of your patients every other day. There were weeks of clinical notes not done.
Having a strong insurance background the next red flag came from the fact that reports were coming over the fax of claims being processed for patients and dates that I could see clearly in the system had not be notated or charted. By lunch time I was sick with the thought that there was a pretty apparent situation of unsettling insurance practices going on.
Upon taking a moment to speak with the owner about how it was that the claims were getting paid even though the charting that is required by worker's comp or Medicare in order to be paid I was given a blank stare and a blanket answer of, "in the event of another audit we have up to 48 hours to provide evaluation and prognosis reports to back up treatment".
Oh god...did they just say "another"....that would imply a first...or worse...gulp...others!
I wanted so badly to shut off my conscience to just stay in a place where it truly seemed that family was a priority over the stress of a workday. A place where they smiled...genuinely...and encouraged friendly banter and socialization. Ugh...this place could be so good....but prison, for insurance fraud...yeah, that could be hell on earth! Okay...so I am being WAY dramatic, but still.
I made it to day 3 and that little Jimminy Cricket within me was screaming..."you look horrible in orange"...."run away R - U - N A - W - A - Y". All I could see in my minds eye was a horrendous insurance audit that would cripple a small practice such as this and me out of a job once again. It was time to cut and run.
When I sat down with the owners to discuss my worries they seemed to understand. They seemed to understand a little too much. Which made me feel more unsettled about the job and even more sure of my decision to quit. At the end of our discussion they asked me to take 24 hours to really think about it. I did so and then told them that I was sorry to have to leave the position. They seemed genuinely sad that I was leaving.
In this economy and with our financial state in such a precarious state I feel like such an immense loser for walking away from a paycheck. I had, once upon a time, believed that my last job would be just that....my last job. Then when I took this last job, I had thought this would be my last job...well, at least until I finished school. I beginning to wonder if I will ever find that one place where I fit. The place where I feel like what I can bring to the table is as valued as I am.
I think those last two statements are symbolistic of more than just my search for a job...they are words that describe how I feel about my life in general.
Maybe my dishearted feelings towards my career status is just a distraction of a bigger issue. My disillusionment over my life...in general.
I guess my status of mediocrity remains firmly intact. Good to know where one stands. Right in the middle.
~JP
The owners were nice. Major plus. Which, I must say after my last employer was a complete change of emotions. Perfect example on my first day they asked how Hannah's birthday party went. I thought that was sweet, but it wasn't enough to make me want to stay there. I was trying to get a lay of the office when the first red flag came up.
They had instructions on how to handle checking in and confirming the schedule. Simple enough. When I began to look at the manual in comparisson to the real time schedule of the practice management software I was floored by the fact that I couldn't follow the instructions. At first I thought it was my inability to follow directions. I'm a smart girl, but it wouldn't be the first time I'd been tripped up by directions (crunchy manicotti circa 2003 comes to mind....and a blog for another day). I turned to one of the techs that I was managing for answers to my ever mounting questions, since the owners were with patients, the answer that came out of her mouth took me aback.
It seems that they weren't staying current on paperwork which wasn't allowing them to check out patients when they left which was then not allowing them to check in the same patients when they returned. If this was dentistry it would have been bad but manageable since you don't see most patients more than 2 times a year. If it took you an additional day or two to catch up on paperwork in order to submit the insurance claims you could still be okay. But being physical therapy you see 90% of your patients every other day. There were weeks of clinical notes not done.
Having a strong insurance background the next red flag came from the fact that reports were coming over the fax of claims being processed for patients and dates that I could see clearly in the system had not be notated or charted. By lunch time I was sick with the thought that there was a pretty apparent situation of unsettling insurance practices going on.
Upon taking a moment to speak with the owner about how it was that the claims were getting paid even though the charting that is required by worker's comp or Medicare in order to be paid I was given a blank stare and a blanket answer of, "in the event of another audit we have up to 48 hours to provide evaluation and prognosis reports to back up treatment".
Oh god...did they just say "another"....that would imply a first...or worse...gulp...others!
I wanted so badly to shut off my conscience to just stay in a place where it truly seemed that family was a priority over the stress of a workday. A place where they smiled...genuinely...and encouraged friendly banter and socialization. Ugh...this place could be so good....but prison, for insurance fraud...yeah, that could be hell on earth! Okay...so I am being WAY dramatic, but still.
I made it to day 3 and that little Jimminy Cricket within me was screaming..."you look horrible in orange"...."run away R - U - N A - W - A - Y". All I could see in my minds eye was a horrendous insurance audit that would cripple a small practice such as this and me out of a job once again. It was time to cut and run.
When I sat down with the owners to discuss my worries they seemed to understand. They seemed to understand a little too much. Which made me feel more unsettled about the job and even more sure of my decision to quit. At the end of our discussion they asked me to take 24 hours to really think about it. I did so and then told them that I was sorry to have to leave the position. They seemed genuinely sad that I was leaving.
In this economy and with our financial state in such a precarious state I feel like such an immense loser for walking away from a paycheck. I had, once upon a time, believed that my last job would be just that....my last job. Then when I took this last job, I had thought this would be my last job...well, at least until I finished school. I beginning to wonder if I will ever find that one place where I fit. The place where I feel like what I can bring to the table is as valued as I am.
I think those last two statements are symbolistic of more than just my search for a job...they are words that describe how I feel about my life in general.
Maybe my dishearted feelings towards my career status is just a distraction of a bigger issue. My disillusionment over my life...in general.
I guess my status of mediocrity remains firmly intact. Good to know where one stands. Right in the middle.
~JP
Monday, October 5, 2009
My subconcious is screaming......
I am supposed to be sleeping. Actually in approximately 26 minutes I am supposed to be getting a text message from some friends that will prompt me to throw on gym clothes and shimmy my fat and tired ass on down to the gym for some cardio. Unfortunately for them and my ass...I will not be in attendance. Judging by the sound of the torrential rain outside I am beginning to think that they may not be there either. But back to the real reason why I am writing this. For the past week I have been having this completely realistic and unbelievably horrifying dream that I am drowning. Here's the hitch...there's no water. None. Not one single solitary drop. Also for the last week I have been back to work.
Coincidence?
Yeah...I think not.
I don't get it. I wanted to go back to work. I needed to go back to work. My sanity needed me to go back to work. My bank account REALLY needed me to go back to work. I went back to work and BOOM dreams of drowning in no friggin water.
I had weathered horrible interviews and kiss off emails. No dreams of drowning then.
I get two simultaneous interviews for two seemingly great companies and it's like a battle ensues for who will be lucky enough to be my employer, if there is such a thing and NOW I'm having nightmares about drowning. Where were the goddamn nightmares when I had no job. Not even a prospect of a job.
Or where were the nightmares back when I had the job that lumped the biggest weight of stress I've had put on me since Jon and I seperated. Where o where were the nightmares then? Oh, wait...I remember...I silenced those nightmares with mass amounts of sleeping medication. Nevermind.
Ugh. I cannot believe that this is happening. I mean I CAN believe that this is happening because this is SO the kind of THING that happens to me on a continual basis.
I tried to talk to Jon when this one hit tonight. It was by far the worse of the 7 that I have now had. After patting my arm and muttering, "it okay...it a dream" I began to hear his steady snore again and realized he had figured that he'd done enough to soothe my fears and he was going back to sleep.
That was an hour ago.
I laid in the bed for another 30 minutes sobbing until I felt the need for a tissue because I was getting grossed out by Penny trying to be the doggie version. I'm all for giving my dog a kiss or letting her lick my face. But I have to draw the line at her trying to slurp boogers from my nose. That just crosses some kind of line.
My subconcious and my gut are telling me that this job is not the place for me. I keep trying to convince myself it is because A) it's been almost 3 months since I was cleared to go back to working full time B) I really miss having some kind of job and C) I'm pretty sure Jon is gonna either drop dead or kill me if I don't start working on a regular basis to ease up the financial stress. I've always listened to that voice inside me. Not just the ones inside my head that say, "eat chocolate" or "go ahead have another glass of wine"...I'm talking about the ones that say, "this doesn't feel right"...the ones deep in my gut and my subconcious. The ones that seem to guide me towards the things I need to be doing and away from the things that I shouldn't be doing.
I've been trying to shush them these last few years. I shushed them when my marriage fell apart and they told me to run the other way and don't ever look back. I shushed them when I insisted on returning to my last job even when my body and my doctor were saying NOT a good idea. And now I think I've got them good and pissed because for the last week they have been getting increasingly louder in regards to this job.
More and more I find myself shying away from what seems like the right choice and going for the one that makes others happy. Sometimes I wonder when will it be my turn to make choices for the betterment of myself again and not for everyone else.
Maybe it's the exhaustion...or the sound of the rain....or the quieting of the voices that seem pacified for being listened to for the moment...but I am suddenly very sleepy and hoping that I will get a bit of rest. Rest without the feeling of drowning. Rest so that I can hopefully think more clearly. Rest that will most likely allow me to make a decision to sink or to swim.
~JP
Coincidence?
Yeah...I think not.
I don't get it. I wanted to go back to work. I needed to go back to work. My sanity needed me to go back to work. My bank account REALLY needed me to go back to work. I went back to work and BOOM dreams of drowning in no friggin water.
I had weathered horrible interviews and kiss off emails. No dreams of drowning then.
I get two simultaneous interviews for two seemingly great companies and it's like a battle ensues for who will be lucky enough to be my employer, if there is such a thing and NOW I'm having nightmares about drowning. Where were the goddamn nightmares when I had no job. Not even a prospect of a job.
Or where were the nightmares back when I had the job that lumped the biggest weight of stress I've had put on me since Jon and I seperated. Where o where were the nightmares then? Oh, wait...I remember...I silenced those nightmares with mass amounts of sleeping medication. Nevermind.
Ugh. I cannot believe that this is happening. I mean I CAN believe that this is happening because this is SO the kind of THING that happens to me on a continual basis.
I tried to talk to Jon when this one hit tonight. It was by far the worse of the 7 that I have now had. After patting my arm and muttering, "it okay...it a dream" I began to hear his steady snore again and realized he had figured that he'd done enough to soothe my fears and he was going back to sleep.
That was an hour ago.
I laid in the bed for another 30 minutes sobbing until I felt the need for a tissue because I was getting grossed out by Penny trying to be the doggie version. I'm all for giving my dog a kiss or letting her lick my face. But I have to draw the line at her trying to slurp boogers from my nose. That just crosses some kind of line.
My subconcious and my gut are telling me that this job is not the place for me. I keep trying to convince myself it is because A) it's been almost 3 months since I was cleared to go back to working full time B) I really miss having some kind of job and C) I'm pretty sure Jon is gonna either drop dead or kill me if I don't start working on a regular basis to ease up the financial stress. I've always listened to that voice inside me. Not just the ones inside my head that say, "eat chocolate" or "go ahead have another glass of wine"...I'm talking about the ones that say, "this doesn't feel right"...the ones deep in my gut and my subconcious. The ones that seem to guide me towards the things I need to be doing and away from the things that I shouldn't be doing.
I've been trying to shush them these last few years. I shushed them when my marriage fell apart and they told me to run the other way and don't ever look back. I shushed them when I insisted on returning to my last job even when my body and my doctor were saying NOT a good idea. And now I think I've got them good and pissed because for the last week they have been getting increasingly louder in regards to this job.
More and more I find myself shying away from what seems like the right choice and going for the one that makes others happy. Sometimes I wonder when will it be my turn to make choices for the betterment of myself again and not for everyone else.
Maybe it's the exhaustion...or the sound of the rain....or the quieting of the voices that seem pacified for being listened to for the moment...but I am suddenly very sleepy and hoping that I will get a bit of rest. Rest without the feeling of drowning. Rest so that I can hopefully think more clearly. Rest that will most likely allow me to make a decision to sink or to swim.
~JP
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
In job searching, as in life...it really is ALL about the hair.
This week has been particularily productive. I haven't slept in all day and I've managed to leave the house not once, but on several seperate occasions...go me! I realize it is only Tuesday...but I'm taking baby steps towards success.
Yesterday brought my first interview in almost 2 weeks. I was beginning to think it was me. Then I realized...who ever snagged me as an employee would be extremely lucky. Way to go with the delusional thought process!
Last week, on Friday I got a call on a resume that I had emailed only 45 minutes earlier. I was like "oh hot damn"...this is my jam..have me dancin until the a.m....oh wait..THAT is totally not even relevant in this situation. Anyways..I was completely awe struck with how quickly I had gotten a response. I was more than a little excited. When the woman was unwilling to give me any details on what the positon entailed and what the name of the company was I went from intrigued to completely mezmorized by the mystery of it all.
Monday brought my interview and it went really well. My horroscope on facebook had predicted that red was my lucky color for the day, so I didn't try to tempt the internet gods and I doned a red top. I rocked the straight hair feeling that it made me look more professional and serious.
I went in thinking..."no big deal. I'm pretty sure I got this job from yesterday all locked up. I'll just go in and get this interview out of the way and wait for the call from lady I spoke with yesterday".
That mentality lasted all of 3...ergh...maybe 5 minutes. At that point I went from totally in love with the job that was described yesterday to seriously land this position that I was interviewing for now.
There was the increase in pay. The potential for advancement and the fact that this employer repeated over and over how they were interested in keeping their employee's happy to reduce turn over. This was a HUGE change from my last employer where we were told on a daily if not hourly basis that "WE WERE ALL REPLACABLE". I believe the phrase "drones" was used on a weekly basis.
This interview lasted over an hour as well and I met with both the office manager and the owner who happened to be husband and wife. I felt good when I left and was told that they were hoping to get the position filled and start the new hire on Monday. I began to walk out, saying good-bye and thanking them for their time. They called out and said that they would be making a decision by the end of the day. I had heard that in the past and remembered that this is the south...every thing moves slower in the south. I just nodded and smiled.
It was 2:02 p.m. when I walked out of the office. I had to go and get gas because my SUV was crying for more ways to drain my bank account. Ugh...as much as I love my Honda Pilot...sometimes I miss my Camry. I miss it's cheap fill up. So I manuevered through construction first calling Jon then my best friend Allie to discuss the most recent interview. No one answered. So unreliable.
Allie was the first to call me back. I went through the entire interview. Weighed out the pros and cons of this job in comparison to the interview yesterday. Of course I talked as if I had both of them in the bag. Seriously...I have GOT to stop doing this. It never fails that my over confidence leads to utter disappointment in the end. But when your talking to someone that has known you for almost as long as you've known yourself you find that it is like looking in a three way mirror with bad lighting...you see all your faults and flaws. You see the things that could keep you from achieving any kind of success in any part of your life and then the sheer panic sets in.
Thankfully she is REALLY good when it comes to dealing with my irrational side. We talked it out and mid sentence my phone rang. It was the job that I had just left. It was 2:45 p.m. I didn't know if the fact that only 40 minutes had passed was a good or a bad thing.
I clicked answer on my Crackberry and tried to sound as professional as one can sound as they drive 75 mph down a rain slicked interstate.
Me: Hello.
Perspective employer: Hi. Is this Jessica?
Me: Yes it is.
Perspective employer: Hi this is "your perspective employer".
Me: Oh...hi how are you? (feeling completely idiotic for saying this but trying to pass it off non chalantly)
Perspective employer: Are you driving?
Me: Yes. It's raining. Sorry for the noise.
Perspective employer: Can you drive and talk or should I call you back?
Me: (feeling that this may be a post interview test about multi-tasking) Yes. Yes I can talk and drive in the rain. (oh god...why did I have to say that...you are such an idiot...you sound like a fucking idiot...they are gonna fire you...oh wait they have to hire you to fire you...okay...they are DEFINITELY not going to hire you because you are an I-D-I-O-T)
Perspective employer: Well we have discussed your resume and based on your interview....
Me: (holding breath and trying to focus on the road)
Perspective employer: ....we would like to offer you the position. Can you start on Monday?
Me: (attempting NOT to drive off the road while doing the happy dance in utter elation at having been offered a job after a month of searching and having epic failure's in regards to interviews) I am very interested. I would like to accept the position. (omg...you sound like a fucking moron...now that they have in fact hired you...they may in fact fire you before you even start because they will have reviewed this retarded response)
Brand new employer: Well then we will see you Monday morning at 8a. Wear scrubs and we will go from there.
Me: Okay. Thank you.
I hang up and contemplate pulling over so that I can scream and dance without possibly running other drivers off the road. I decide against it seeing as I am only one exit away from the mall which is my final destination.
I called my best friend back and ran through the details of the job as if I am reviewing a date from back in my high school days. My first concern in all my backwards thinking was "do you think I agreed to quickly" and "what if the other job calls me in the next couple of minutes".
I was deaf to the cosmic voices that were literally screaming "accept the gift I have just given you dumb shit". Nope...here I was with the grass MUST be greener on the other side of the employment fence. My best friend tried to lay rational thoughts upon me....but thankfully she can be just as crazy as I am at times so while she would drag me to reality she would also feed my fantasy that a virtual bidding war would ensue over my AMAZING talents.
Jon stepped in and brought my ass firmly back to reality and said that if the other job did in fact call and offer me the position it's a first come, first employ mentality. He told me to thank her but to respectfully decline the position, remain true to the one that hired me first and move on to paycheck earning bliss. That theory seems all fine and good IF the person he was talking to was a clear thinking individual. Reality was...he was, unfortunately talking to me. Reality is only what I am willing to make of it and my reality didn't include being...well...umm...realistic.
Thankfully, I sat back. Took a few deep breaths. Glared hatefully at my Crackberry willing it to ring with the a call from the previous days interview and when that didn't occur I made the call to advise her that I had been offered a job, which I had accepted. I was prepared to "respectfully decline" her envisioned fawning advances to win me over to her position.
Yeah, that didn't happen. When I got the woman on the phone she acted as if she couldn't remember who the hell I was. I was like hey...jackleg...I'm the one you were showing your grandkids baby and school pics! Remember me now?!?
Apparently not.
At that moment I knew I had made the right decision. Curly hair and all I will be moving on to the next chapter in my professional life. Thank you facebook and all your cosmic certainty. I'd like to commend you on the color choices but ask that in the future you advise individual on hairstyle choices. It would save a lot of hassle in the long run.
~JP
Yesterday brought my first interview in almost 2 weeks. I was beginning to think it was me. Then I realized...who ever snagged me as an employee would be extremely lucky. Way to go with the delusional thought process!
Last week, on Friday I got a call on a resume that I had emailed only 45 minutes earlier. I was like "oh hot damn"...this is my jam..have me dancin until the a.m....oh wait..THAT is totally not even relevant in this situation. Anyways..I was completely awe struck with how quickly I had gotten a response. I was more than a little excited. When the woman was unwilling to give me any details on what the positon entailed and what the name of the company was I went from intrigued to completely mezmorized by the mystery of it all.
Monday brought my interview and it went really well. My horroscope on facebook had predicted that red was my lucky color for the day, so I didn't try to tempt the internet gods and I doned a red top. I rocked the straight hair feeling that it made me look more professional and serious.
I got a great vibe and the interview went for a little over an hour. The woman that interviewed me seemed to think I was a "good fit" and that I'd "bring a lot to the office" and promised that I would hear something by the end of the week.
I went home hopeful and already arranging my soon to be workspace in my mind. It's what I do people...it's the just how I am.
I slept great last night...yes it was thanks in part to the wine but I'd like to think it was the universe speaking to me about the position and this dreams regarding the position ensued.
This morning after bringing the kids to school I got another call on another resume I had sent out. This one was in the same vicinity as the interview yesterday, about 5 minutes from where my last job was located. I'm used to the commute so I didn't take issue with it.
I consulted facebook and found that today blue would be my color of positive vibes. Who am I to fuck with the iron clad workings of the virtual internet guru?
I'm two months into job searching which makes me 1 month behind on mortgage and completely out of excuses for my children who want EVERYTHING that cost money. When Jennifer Lopez sang "My Love Don't Cost a Thing" she DEFINITELY was not singing about my kids! That's for damn sure.
Feeling that a change of color wasn't enough I decided to go from seriously straight to curly confidence.
That mentality lasted all of 3...ergh...maybe 5 minutes. At that point I went from totally in love with the job that was described yesterday to seriously land this position that I was interviewing for now.
There was the increase in pay. The potential for advancement and the fact that this employer repeated over and over how they were interested in keeping their employee's happy to reduce turn over. This was a HUGE change from my last employer where we were told on a daily if not hourly basis that "WE WERE ALL REPLACABLE". I believe the phrase "drones" was used on a weekly basis.
This interview lasted over an hour as well and I met with both the office manager and the owner who happened to be husband and wife. I felt good when I left and was told that they were hoping to get the position filled and start the new hire on Monday. I began to walk out, saying good-bye and thanking them for their time. They called out and said that they would be making a decision by the end of the day. I had heard that in the past and remembered that this is the south...every thing moves slower in the south. I just nodded and smiled.
It was 2:02 p.m. when I walked out of the office. I had to go and get gas because my SUV was crying for more ways to drain my bank account. Ugh...as much as I love my Honda Pilot...sometimes I miss my Camry. I miss it's cheap fill up. So I manuevered through construction first calling Jon then my best friend Allie to discuss the most recent interview. No one answered. So unreliable.
Allie was the first to call me back. I went through the entire interview. Weighed out the pros and cons of this job in comparison to the interview yesterday. Of course I talked as if I had both of them in the bag. Seriously...I have GOT to stop doing this. It never fails that my over confidence leads to utter disappointment in the end. But when your talking to someone that has known you for almost as long as you've known yourself you find that it is like looking in a three way mirror with bad lighting...you see all your faults and flaws. You see the things that could keep you from achieving any kind of success in any part of your life and then the sheer panic sets in.
Thankfully she is REALLY good when it comes to dealing with my irrational side. We talked it out and mid sentence my phone rang. It was the job that I had just left. It was 2:45 p.m. I didn't know if the fact that only 40 minutes had passed was a good or a bad thing.
I clicked answer on my Crackberry and tried to sound as professional as one can sound as they drive 75 mph down a rain slicked interstate.
Me: Hello.
Perspective employer: Hi. Is this Jessica?
Me: Yes it is.
Perspective employer: Hi this is "your perspective employer".
Me: Oh...hi how are you? (feeling completely idiotic for saying this but trying to pass it off non chalantly)
Perspective employer: Are you driving?
Me: Yes. It's raining. Sorry for the noise.
Perspective employer: Can you drive and talk or should I call you back?
Me: (feeling that this may be a post interview test about multi-tasking) Yes. Yes I can talk and drive in the rain. (oh god...why did I have to say that...you are such an idiot...you sound like a fucking idiot...they are gonna fire you...oh wait they have to hire you to fire you...okay...they are DEFINITELY not going to hire you because you are an I-D-I-O-T)
Perspective employer: Well we have discussed your resume and based on your interview....
Me: (holding breath and trying to focus on the road)
Perspective employer: ....we would like to offer you the position. Can you start on Monday?
Me: (attempting NOT to drive off the road while doing the happy dance in utter elation at having been offered a job after a month of searching and having epic failure's in regards to interviews) I am very interested. I would like to accept the position. (omg...you sound like a fucking moron...now that they have in fact hired you...they may in fact fire you before you even start because they will have reviewed this retarded response)
Brand new employer: Well then we will see you Monday morning at 8a. Wear scrubs and we will go from there.
Me: Okay. Thank you.
I hang up and contemplate pulling over so that I can scream and dance without possibly running other drivers off the road. I decide against it seeing as I am only one exit away from the mall which is my final destination.
I called my best friend back and ran through the details of the job as if I am reviewing a date from back in my high school days. My first concern in all my backwards thinking was "do you think I agreed to quickly" and "what if the other job calls me in the next couple of minutes".
I was deaf to the cosmic voices that were literally screaming "accept the gift I have just given you dumb shit". Nope...here I was with the grass MUST be greener on the other side of the employment fence. My best friend tried to lay rational thoughts upon me....but thankfully she can be just as crazy as I am at times so while she would drag me to reality she would also feed my fantasy that a virtual bidding war would ensue over my AMAZING talents.
Jon stepped in and brought my ass firmly back to reality and said that if the other job did in fact call and offer me the position it's a first come, first employ mentality. He told me to thank her but to respectfully decline the position, remain true to the one that hired me first and move on to paycheck earning bliss. That theory seems all fine and good IF the person he was talking to was a clear thinking individual. Reality was...he was, unfortunately talking to me. Reality is only what I am willing to make of it and my reality didn't include being...well...umm...realistic.
Thankfully, I sat back. Took a few deep breaths. Glared hatefully at my Crackberry willing it to ring with the a call from the previous days interview and when that didn't occur I made the call to advise her that I had been offered a job, which I had accepted. I was prepared to "respectfully decline" her envisioned fawning advances to win me over to her position.
Yeah, that didn't happen. When I got the woman on the phone she acted as if she couldn't remember who the hell I was. I was like hey...jackleg...I'm the one you were showing your grandkids baby and school pics! Remember me now?!?
Apparently not.
At that moment I knew I had made the right decision. Curly hair and all I will be moving on to the next chapter in my professional life. Thank you facebook and all your cosmic certainty. I'd like to commend you on the color choices but ask that in the future you advise individual on hairstyle choices. It would save a lot of hassle in the long run.
~JP
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
Well I guess I can cross manager of future strippers off my list of things to do in life...
I really am trying to be positive and upbeat about the whole looking for a job thing.
Probably one of the only things that I am attempting to be upbeat about.
It's hard people. It's really fucking hard.
I'm getting REALLY tired of revising my resume.
I've dumbed it down about as much as I can, which (scratching my head in complete exsasperation) apparently has helped tremendously because instead of never hearing from the perspective employers that I send them out to I've actually gotten some responses.
Applause, applause, applause...yeah NOT SO MUCH!
The first response I got was from a pediatric practice. The kiss off came as a result of me "expecting too much money."
Ummm, I don't think so jackasses. If you've been running your add for close to a month and just now had to run a new ad putting a specific salary cap on the job your trying to have filled then maybe it is YOU that has the problem.
Quality cost money people.
Also...just a little FYI...maybe if you had someone actually, oh, I don't know...interview the perspective new hire instead of using an oogy "head shot" and relying on job application that asks what your applicable hobbies are in regard to said position...then you deserve the under $9.00 hour crowd that are gonna come-a-flocking.
Jacklegs.
Next up was a voice mail. Yes, you read that right..a voicemail.
It get's better. It wasn't even a human speaking. It was an automated and not even friendly sounding computeresque woman the glibly advised me that "while we appreciate your interest in our firm after careful consideration we realize that you are over qualified for the position requested."
Wow...that one came out of left field. I've never been advised by something that closely resembles what I dream to be the wife of Mr. Moviephone that I am to over qualified for a job.
It then went on to ask me if I would like "the firm to keep my resume on file for future openings". I thought it was an okay idea..even if I didn't agree with their approach at notifying applicants I was at least grateful that I had gotten a phone call so I could cross this one off my list.
The automated voice told me to "select option #2 to save resume". I pressed the selection and it told me rather rudely, "option failed". I tried a few more (like 4) times and finally gave up after it seemed that the statement of "option failed" began to sound more and more hostile with each attempt.
It made me wonder how do they handle the ones that aren't qualified? Do they just send them back their resume's with the word FAIL written across it in red Sharpie??
Major jacklegs.
I tried really hard not to take either of those too personally and really just laughed it off. I was drunk with confidence over the fact that I had what I privately deemed to be the perfect position in mind.
It was as an Office Manager for a local dance studio. It would marry my loves of bossiness, creating memo's and dance!
Hi I'm Jessica. And you must be perfection.
This place had four things that I REALLY wanted which were:
A) the job is located less than a minute from home - I wouldn't even have to travel on any major roads to get to it
B) it was part time - it would allow me to enroll in school come the new year and not have to worry about shuffling a school and work schedule
C) it had the same holiday schedule as my kids school...no worries for childcare come summer when Liv went to spend the summer with her dad inevitably leaving Jon and I to scramble for childcare for Han.
D) it started after the kids left for school in the morning and finished before they got out each day - plus it was only 4 days a week just like my lovely dental practice job
Honestly when I sent out my resume via email as it instructed I could almost see God winking in complete approval. Ok...actually it was Penny but I'm sure somewhere...up there...the big guy was like "you go girl"!
My children had taken lessons from this place previously so I was familiar with the owner. They enjoyed the instructors and the classes but after two years we decided to leave and go somewhere else due to the failure in the management aspect.
Well there was that and the fact that with each year they attended the recital costumes tended to get skimpier and skimpier. Let me just say that when my husband went to pick up Han's tap costume for "Whistle While You Work" from Snow White he nearly had a stroke. He thought the song was descriptive of the hoochie momma bikini top and let's just sew together the smallest swatches of fabric we can possibly get away with and call it a skirt ensemble.
Han was 4 at the time of that recital. We took NO pictures that year for fear that when they went to be developed we would be hauled in for kiddie porn.
The fact that I had seen the bottom of the barrel in regards to office help that the owner had in the past I figured my experience would bring a level of professionalism to the table. I felt as though I had this one in the bag.
The only draw back would be having to take a pay cut but the benefits to this position FAR outweighed the downside of the money.
It was brutally crushing to get the last and most recent kiss off. It came in the form of a "thanks but the positions been filled" email.
Email? Really?
The email was sent at 3:45 p.m. on Saturday.
ON SATURDAY!!
Who the hell decides that they don't want to hire someone and then alerts them...via email...in the middle of the day on a fucking Saturday?? Way to kill the weekend for me.
Then as if that wasn't enough the email went on to ask me if I "know of anyone that would like to apply for an instructor position please forward this email address so that they can contact our studio".
Umm..hello?? You just hired a fucking Office Manager...make them find you an instructor...don't burden the person you just turned down!
Final dagger to the heart regarding this job is that the classified ad is still in the paper for the exact position that I was passed over for.
I'm hoping that it's because she had previously paid for a certain amount of time for the ad to be run because seriously if this woman lied to me about the position being filled I may just hang myself in the shower. If I can't cut it at a dance studio that may possibly turn out the next wave of strippers to entertain the tourist down on Bourbon Street and it was deemed that I wasn't experienced enough to handle that level of greatness...well, there just aren't words to describe the deep hole of blackness that I will sink into.
Biggest jackleg yet!
The level of professionalism that I am used to having is completely lost on today's hiring society. I mean come on people. Seriously?
Seriously??
SERIOUSLY...WTF??
Today is a new day. I've brewed a fresh pot of coffee and got back to the business of job hunting.
Looked over the resume again.
Resisted the urge to take out any words that have more than 2 syllables in the hopes that I can fool someone into thinking I'm a complete idiot and therefore a perfect candidate to be hired.
I will be hot on the trail of 15 more ad's that I pulled from the classifieds yesterday.
Given the first 3 responses that I've gotten after a month of looking I'm both scared and slightly intrigued about what else may lay ahead.
Stay tuned.
~JP
Probably one of the only things that I am attempting to be upbeat about.
It's hard people. It's really fucking hard.
I'm getting REALLY tired of revising my resume.
I've dumbed it down about as much as I can, which (scratching my head in complete exsasperation) apparently has helped tremendously because instead of never hearing from the perspective employers that I send them out to I've actually gotten some responses.
Applause, applause, applause...yeah NOT SO MUCH!
The first response I got was from a pediatric practice. The kiss off came as a result of me "expecting too much money."
Ummm, I don't think so jackasses. If you've been running your add for close to a month and just now had to run a new ad putting a specific salary cap on the job your trying to have filled then maybe it is YOU that has the problem.
Quality cost money people.
Also...just a little FYI...maybe if you had someone actually, oh, I don't know...interview the perspective new hire instead of using an oogy "head shot" and relying on job application that asks what your applicable hobbies are in regard to said position...then you deserve the under $9.00 hour crowd that are gonna come-a-flocking.
Jacklegs.
Next up was a voice mail. Yes, you read that right..a voicemail.
It get's better. It wasn't even a human speaking. It was an automated and not even friendly sounding computeresque woman the glibly advised me that "while we appreciate your interest in our firm after careful consideration we realize that you are over qualified for the position requested."
Wow...that one came out of left field. I've never been advised by something that closely resembles what I dream to be the wife of Mr. Moviephone that I am to over qualified for a job.
It then went on to ask me if I would like "the firm to keep my resume on file for future openings". I thought it was an okay idea..even if I didn't agree with their approach at notifying applicants I was at least grateful that I had gotten a phone call so I could cross this one off my list.
The automated voice told me to "select option #2 to save resume". I pressed the selection and it told me rather rudely, "option failed". I tried a few more (like 4) times and finally gave up after it seemed that the statement of "option failed" began to sound more and more hostile with each attempt.
It made me wonder how do they handle the ones that aren't qualified? Do they just send them back their resume's with the word FAIL written across it in red Sharpie??
Major jacklegs.
I tried really hard not to take either of those too personally and really just laughed it off. I was drunk with confidence over the fact that I had what I privately deemed to be the perfect position in mind.
It was as an Office Manager for a local dance studio. It would marry my loves of bossiness, creating memo's and dance!
Hi I'm Jessica. And you must be perfection.
This place had four things that I REALLY wanted which were:
A) the job is located less than a minute from home - I wouldn't even have to travel on any major roads to get to it
B) it was part time - it would allow me to enroll in school come the new year and not have to worry about shuffling a school and work schedule
C) it had the same holiday schedule as my kids school...no worries for childcare come summer when Liv went to spend the summer with her dad inevitably leaving Jon and I to scramble for childcare for Han.
D) it started after the kids left for school in the morning and finished before they got out each day - plus it was only 4 days a week just like my lovely dental practice job
Honestly when I sent out my resume via email as it instructed I could almost see God winking in complete approval. Ok...actually it was Penny but I'm sure somewhere...up there...the big guy was like "you go girl"!
My children had taken lessons from this place previously so I was familiar with the owner. They enjoyed the instructors and the classes but after two years we decided to leave and go somewhere else due to the failure in the management aspect.
Well there was that and the fact that with each year they attended the recital costumes tended to get skimpier and skimpier. Let me just say that when my husband went to pick up Han's tap costume for "Whistle While You Work" from Snow White he nearly had a stroke. He thought the song was descriptive of the hoochie momma bikini top and let's just sew together the smallest swatches of fabric we can possibly get away with and call it a skirt ensemble.
Han was 4 at the time of that recital. We took NO pictures that year for fear that when they went to be developed we would be hauled in for kiddie porn.
The fact that I had seen the bottom of the barrel in regards to office help that the owner had in the past I figured my experience would bring a level of professionalism to the table. I felt as though I had this one in the bag.
The only draw back would be having to take a pay cut but the benefits to this position FAR outweighed the downside of the money.
It was brutally crushing to get the last and most recent kiss off. It came in the form of a "thanks but the positions been filled" email.
Email? Really?
The email was sent at 3:45 p.m. on Saturday.
ON SATURDAY!!
Who the hell decides that they don't want to hire someone and then alerts them...via email...in the middle of the day on a fucking Saturday?? Way to kill the weekend for me.
Then as if that wasn't enough the email went on to ask me if I "know of anyone that would like to apply for an instructor position please forward this email address so that they can contact our studio".
Umm..hello?? You just hired a fucking Office Manager...make them find you an instructor...don't burden the person you just turned down!
Final dagger to the heart regarding this job is that the classified ad is still in the paper for the exact position that I was passed over for.
I'm hoping that it's because she had previously paid for a certain amount of time for the ad to be run because seriously if this woman lied to me about the position being filled I may just hang myself in the shower. If I can't cut it at a dance studio that may possibly turn out the next wave of strippers to entertain the tourist down on Bourbon Street and it was deemed that I wasn't experienced enough to handle that level of greatness...well, there just aren't words to describe the deep hole of blackness that I will sink into.
Biggest jackleg yet!
The level of professionalism that I am used to having is completely lost on today's hiring society. I mean come on people. Seriously?
Seriously??
SERIOUSLY...WTF??
Today is a new day. I've brewed a fresh pot of coffee and got back to the business of job hunting.
Looked over the resume again.
Resisted the urge to take out any words that have more than 2 syllables in the hopes that I can fool someone into thinking I'm a complete idiot and therefore a perfect candidate to be hired.
I will be hot on the trail of 15 more ad's that I pulled from the classifieds yesterday.
Given the first 3 responses that I've gotten after a month of looking I'm both scared and slightly intrigued about what else may lay ahead.
Stay tuned.
~JP
Friday, August 14, 2009
What a waste of lip liner and lint roller!
With yesterday being a wash for anything remotely close to being labeled productive I had very high hopes for this 24 hours. To be honest after the gas pumping (see earlier post "Day like this make me wish I had a baby to blame") incident I was pretty sure that I had met my shit quota...I really need to take a page from my own blog and learn that I really must stop being optimistic!
I got out of my lollypop pants and wet boob shirt and changed into pants with buttons and a zipper, a crisp white short sleeve dress shirt and Granny Smith apple green vest. Oh yeah...I rocked the vest!
Put some product in the hair (think "ooh, la la, say ooh la la la la come on...ba ba ba ba ba") swept on some bronzer, cause I'm a little like Casper, used lip liner and lipstick with gloss and finally lint rolled the black dress pants I was wearing. Nothing says don't hire me like wearing a coat of dog hair...unless of course you are trying to get a job at a veternarian's office which in that case I'd say rock on with the pet hair!
I gathered up the resume and made my way to a local pediatrician's office. Dear God I hope they don't Google me...they may find out that I don't really even like kids...especially my own!
I walk in and the place is crawling with snot nosed kids. Yum! I made my way over toddlers and toys to the front desk where I was met by two of the most unfriendly individuals that I think I've ever met at a perspective job. Then comes the standard job application.
Sometimes I find myself silently laughing at some of the things that they will put on these things. This one was no different. I was shocked at how little space was given to list previous employment. I really feel bad for anyone who doesn't bring a resume. I seriously had barely enough space to write "please see resume". But the internal giggle kicked into overdrive when I turned over to the back section and saw that literally half the sheet was left open for you to list "hobby or interest that would help you in this position". WTF??
You leave barely any room to list previous work experience but you want a full out essay in regards to my hobbies?? Someone isn't playing with a full deck! I had to resist writing out, "loves long walks and dancing in the rain".
I left that section blank because I honestly didn't trust myself to even lie. I went to return the application and was asked if I minded having my picture taken. I was like....huh? What? I just half smiled and nodded my head. I didn't know if I should smile, be serious...strike the standard MySpace rock-n-roll pose...so many choices. I went with semi stunned and half hearted smile. This place had begun to creep me out and I haven't even been interviewed.
Thankfully that will wait for another day when it was announced that all the doctors were running to far behind and they would need to reschedule the interview segment. I thanked them and climbed over more toddlers and toys on my way out.
That has to be one of the most bizarre moments I have had in filling out an application.
I am back at home. In my comfy clothes sans lip liner with hair in a pony tail. Ahhhhhh....sanctuary!
~JP
I got out of my lollypop pants and wet boob shirt and changed into pants with buttons and a zipper, a crisp white short sleeve dress shirt and Granny Smith apple green vest. Oh yeah...I rocked the vest!
Put some product in the hair (think "ooh, la la, say ooh la la la la come on...ba ba ba ba ba") swept on some bronzer, cause I'm a little like Casper, used lip liner and lipstick with gloss and finally lint rolled the black dress pants I was wearing. Nothing says don't hire me like wearing a coat of dog hair...unless of course you are trying to get a job at a veternarian's office which in that case I'd say rock on with the pet hair!
I gathered up the resume and made my way to a local pediatrician's office. Dear God I hope they don't Google me...they may find out that I don't really even like kids...especially my own!
I walk in and the place is crawling with snot nosed kids. Yum! I made my way over toddlers and toys to the front desk where I was met by two of the most unfriendly individuals that I think I've ever met at a perspective job. Then comes the standard job application.
Sometimes I find myself silently laughing at some of the things that they will put on these things. This one was no different. I was shocked at how little space was given to list previous employment. I really feel bad for anyone who doesn't bring a resume. I seriously had barely enough space to write "please see resume". But the internal giggle kicked into overdrive when I turned over to the back section and saw that literally half the sheet was left open for you to list "hobby or interest that would help you in this position". WTF??
You leave barely any room to list previous work experience but you want a full out essay in regards to my hobbies?? Someone isn't playing with a full deck! I had to resist writing out, "loves long walks and dancing in the rain".
I left that section blank because I honestly didn't trust myself to even lie. I went to return the application and was asked if I minded having my picture taken. I was like....huh? What? I just half smiled and nodded my head. I didn't know if I should smile, be serious...strike the standard MySpace rock-n-roll pose...so many choices. I went with semi stunned and half hearted smile. This place had begun to creep me out and I haven't even been interviewed.
Thankfully that will wait for another day when it was announced that all the doctors were running to far behind and they would need to reschedule the interview segment. I thanked them and climbed over more toddlers and toys on my way out.
That has to be one of the most bizarre moments I have had in filling out an application.
I am back at home. In my comfy clothes sans lip liner with hair in a pony tail. Ahhhhhh....sanctuary!
~JP
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