Friday, August 14, 2009

What a waste of lip liner and lint roller!

With yesterday being a wash for anything remotely close to being labeled productive I had very high hopes for this 24 hours. To be honest after the gas pumping (see earlier post "Day like this make me wish I had a baby to blame") incident I was pretty sure that I had met my shit quota...I really need to take a page from my own blog and learn that I really must stop being optimistic!

I got out of my lollypop pants and wet boob shirt and changed into pants with buttons and a zipper, a crisp white short sleeve dress shirt and Granny Smith apple green vest. Oh yeah...I rocked the vest!

Put some product in the hair (think "ooh, la la, say ooh la la la la come ba ba ba ba") swept on some bronzer, cause I'm a little like Casper, used lip liner and lipstick with gloss and finally lint rolled the black dress pants I was wearing. Nothing says don't hire me like wearing a coat of dog hair...unless of course you are trying to get a job at a veternarian's office which in that case I'd say rock on with the pet hair!

I gathered up the resume and made my way to a local pediatrician's office. Dear God I hope they don't Google me...they may find out that I don't really even like kids...especially my own!

I walk in and the place is crawling with snot nosed kids. Yum! I made my way over toddlers and toys to the front desk where I was met by two of the most unfriendly individuals that I think I've ever met at a
perspective job. Then comes the standard job application.

Sometimes I find myself silently laughing at some of the things that they will put on these things. This one was no different. I was shocked at how little space was given to list previous employment. I really feel bad for anyone who doesn't bring a resume. I seriously had barely enough space to write "please see resume". But the internal giggle kicked into overdrive when I turned over to the back section and saw that literally half the sheet was left open for you to list "hobby or interest that would help you in this position". WTF??

You leave barely any room to list previous work experience but you want a full out essay in regards to my hobbies?? Someone isn't playing with a full deck! I had to resist writing out, "loves long walks and dancing in the rain".

I left that section blank because I honestly didn't trust myself to even lie. I went to return the application and was asked if I minded having my picture taken. I was like....huh? What? I just half smiled and nodded my head. I didn't know if I should smile, be serious...strike the standard MySpace rock-n-roll many choices. I went with semi stunned and half hearted smile. This place had begun to creep me out and I haven't even been interviewed.

Thankfully that will wait for another day when it was announced that all the doctors were running to far behind and they would need to reschedule the interview segment. I thanked them and climbed over more toddlers and toys on my way out.

That has to be one of the most bizarre moments I have had in filling out an application.

I am back at home. In my comfy clothes sans lip liner with hair in a pony tail. Ahhhhhh....sanctuary!


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