Wednesday, October 28, 2009

What's your gut telling you?

So life being the proverbial roller coaster that it is...has now found me back at the bottom.  I've been here before.  Lots of times.  It's familiar territory.  The other part that is familiar is the beating my stomach takes when things are going NOT so well.  I'm an internalizer.  I smile on the outside.  Making jokes, writing funny blogs and generally trying to be light hearted when in truth my stomach is an acid volcano of stress and upset emotions.  It's a downright miracle that the ulcer that was discovered a few years ago has not grown large enough to suck the rest of my body into it's vast hole.  Although at times I wonder if my doctor just lied in order to keep feeding me medications because he gets a kick back from the drug companies.  It's all a conspiracy when it comes to the health care industry. 

But back to me...and my gut.  On top of being a rumbly, achy, keeping me in the bathroom more than any one normal human being should be in has also begun to expand.  It seems my gut doesn't want my butt to feel lonely.  Isn't that nice of it?  Umm.  Yeah.  NOT. 

Tonight as Jon coaxed me out of my pity filled mock hibernation to attend a local fast food joints participation at helping our youngest daughter school raise money for the PTA, I was hit with just how out of control it's growth has become.  A cute Halloween t-shirt that has seen me through the past 3 years of trick-o-treating now bears a striking resemblence to me attempting to suck my gut into a childs shirt.  As if the realization that "Job, Take #2" is as failed as it was the first time around (details to follow once the investigation is does sound as bad as that word "investigation" would lead you to believe) wasn't enough to stress me out, now I've got to worry about my mid section trying to take over the whole of my body.  What next CANKLES?  Dear Lord....why must you hate me so?

Ok...maybe it's not God.  Maybe it's the fact that running my fingers longingly over the swipe card for my gym membership hasn't made me lose even an ounce of weight.  Maybe, just maybe I should run my ass up to the gym and then I wouldn't be worrying about my gut so much.  It sure would make for a lovely distraction from all the other shit that is going on in the world that is me.

But since I am one to procrastinate beyond any amount of reason...I think I will just ponder on this realization while I wallow in the stress of my current situation.  And with gut wins!  For now.


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