Monday, November 16, 2009

Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it could be what saves a marriage....

Jon and I went on a date on Saturday.  Shouldn't be like a huge announcement I know...but for me it is. 

Marriage, relationship....hell, life hasn't been going all that happily for me or for Jon, so a date was a miraculous occasion. 

It wasn't extravagant, it wasn't even overly romantic...but it was enough to give thought as to whether there is still something to work with. 

In the win column went the fact that we were at a steak restaurant and I didn't once think about stabbing him in the jugular, hand or even male appendage with the knife that sat in front of me for the entire meal.  Also in the win column was the fact that although the conversation did slip towards the angry unsaid stuff that had been building up from our last argument it went back to the easy casual conversing of people who still very much love one another.

Jon took it upon himself to utilize some of the techniques that he had picked up from a program that he purchased in order to assist him in our marital discord.  He was asking questions to try anything to start communication between the two of us.  He would ask, I would talk and he would listen.  Then it just felt natural for me to ask him something and let him talk while I listened.  The listening part is a little hard for me since I seem to feel the need to interrupt.  That's just a little something...okay a big something that I need to work on.

Instead of going to a movie after dinner we opted to go to a local bar and have a drink while sitting outside on the back patio away from everyone and just talking.  I wasn't willing to let go of the conversation that had started at dinner and while I would have loved to see a movie, my priority right now is to keep the line of dialogue open.  We sat for almost an hour just laughing and talking.  It seemed natural and easy like it's supposed to be.

In the loss column, which wasn't anyone's fault except for possibly cold and flu season was the fact that we needed to cut the night short because A) he was having pain just talking from a sore throat and then B) he started hacking.  Yep, that's a mood killer. 

We called it a night and haven't had an argument.  I guess there are still some things left to be curious about in our relationship and that may just be what we need to work our way back to a new start.


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